All the Single Ladies!

I got this message from my aunt yesterday on Facebook:

Tang, i will pray for a "partner' for you...even a friendly one lang...wala lang, i just feel it will spark up life a li'l bit...not that you need it or be more happier..life is good to you...just would like to spark it a li'l more hehe...i know how it feels to be "alone' sometimes, at times. whatever...love you Tang

...out of nowhere, like a deer crossing the freeway in the middle of the night. That message took me aback completely, I think it's so uncalled for. I love my aunt and this isn't against her, but. it's like "why the heck are you still single?!" IN YOUR FACE! ..like I don't know it yet! Am I that pathetic for still being single at 24? Am I really a desperate case, an old-maid-in-the-making?? Why do I feel like I am being attacked by this issue from all directions?? "teh may migo ka na? ngaa wala pa haw?"

I'd be lying if I say that I don't care and that I'm not wanting to have someone in my life. Of course I do! Even Erik Erikson said everyone goes through that intimacy vs. isolation stage of social development. But I probably wouldn't care as much if everyone else around me does not keep reminding me that it's time. With everyone I mean even my mom and my grandma!

I can't make things fit if they don't. Maybe I'm just unlucky that the guys who've come in my life just don't feel right. Yes I am a "feel" kind of girl, than a "try" kind of girl. And maybe I really should be putting myself more out there. Date some more. Give people chances. Give opportunities chances. But then, that's not gonna be me anymore. I just believe that the right guy will come when it's time. God's time. That I really don't have to look for him. That he will feel right when he is right.

One of my friends here in the States met this amazing guy online. Who woulda thunk it, a gorgeous guy inside out, looking for love in an online dating site?? You start to think, there must be something wrong with him..?! But then you follow it up with, but there's really nothing wrong with my friend and she did it. She encourages me all the time to try it too, `coz I might just stumble on someone like, let's just say his name is, Adam (my friend's boyfriend). But I just can't. Just can't.

Someone tweeted : "I’ve built a wall. Not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it." #TLS ... and in my case, who I love enough to let them climb over it.

All I know is that... when I fall in love again, it will be forever. And when I give my heart, it will be completely. I feel like I have saved so much love in me that I have so much to give and I can't afford to waste it with someone because I just wanna try it out. Can't even go on a second date with someone if I don't feel the spark the first time!

Yeah, maybe they're right, what the heck is wrong with me?

But in the pit of my stomach, I know it'll come... every train has a destination.